Before I Let You Go..

As eager as I was to get to the October post nearing the end of September, it has taken me ages to get around to it. On saying that though, I've been finding it very difficult to think. I didn't know what poem to post, nor did I know what words to say. I mentioned before that I was posting my poems in a sort of parallel way to my life, so while I was on my way home from college the other day, it hit me.

My next post is the poem I told you all back in July that I would put up in time to come. This is a follow-on from "Incase You Forget" and, as you know already, does have a dedication. One that has remained anonymous. And forever will, by the looks of things.

The poem is obviously about letting someone go, which actually pains me to have to do. Over the past few months I've had to let people go, and I must admit, it was easier than I ever imagined it would have been. It got me thinking about the people that have always been by my side, such as Ultan Pereira, a good old friend of mine. Hello to you :) and, I got to concentrate on meeting new people, which I have done. It's been great to have gotten the opportunity.. Hello to you all too :)

I thought I'd add an additional piece of unnecessary information for you, while I wrote this I was listening to Macklemore's "Fake Empire," and ever since, the song reminds me of the poem. I just found that interesting, but I know; it's unnecessary!

Now, back to the poem; I know it sounds harsh, but from my perspective that's just the way it is. To the dedicatee: If you've taught me anything it's that "what you don't know will always hurt you!" There are no truer words..

Before I Let You Go..

This is the last thing I'll let you know,
Before I say goodbye,
Before I let you go..

I forgot the reasons that brought on this end.
Wiped back the tears that I let fall.
Changed your title as my friend.
Unraveled your lies and figured it all.

I found the answers to the questions I had.
Spent all of my time trying to know you true.
It seems I, somehow, banished your bad.
I guess, it was because, I really did love you.

Now all I want, is for you to know,
Why I'm saying goodbye,
And why I'm letting you go..

I see your face through every crowd,
And within the moments you're not even there.
The silence became extremely loud.
It seems, I lost myself somewhere.

The knots in my stomach became undone.
As you continued to walk, in my mind, you grew small.
My journey backwards suddenly begun,
And I swiftly remembered it all.

The moment you had first taken hold of my hand.
Posed for a photograph with that crooked smile.
Times when, together, we would stand.
Or walk, if not even, for a single mile.

So this, my dear, I hope you know
I've said goodbye,
But I can't let you go.

I took back every single word I had ever said.
Tore out the chapters from the story of us.
Broke everything in sight, if only within my head.
Woke up one morning, and boarded that bus.

The glimmer in my eyes dimmed down slow.
I recanted the first smile that welcomed you that day.
Collected up the pieces of my heart, and decided to go.
I gave you one more look, and then turned the opposite way.

23rd June 2014