I'm diving right in because, if I'm honest, sometimes it's better to just let the thoughts pour out instead of leaving them locked away in your mind, attacking you during every moment of silence.
As much as I'm truly enjoying the time that I'm in, there does come times every now and again where my mind wanders back to a time I left behind...and, I just can't seem to understand why it keeps getting me down.
In mid-December I realised I hadn't written anything, and that really worried me.. Simply because I feel like I've had my head in the clouds and, perhaps, I'm not seeing things as clearly as I should be.
With all that in mind, during my birthday celebrations, I found myself leaving everyone's company and sat on the ground in my room constructing yet another of my least favourite kind of poems.
The poem is fairly personal, no matter how much I tried, I couldn't seem to let go of the guy I grew to love so much. But then, I suddenly realised, I had no choice but to. I may have been happy, and I may have truly loved him...but I was fooling myself if I ever thought it was mutual.
I don't know how we grow to love people we don't truly know.. But I guess that was my mistake.
This does have a dedication... but I don't intend to make it public.
Love Cloud
I was happy in our love cloud;
Just to know someone was there.
He didn't need to love me, trust me or adore me,
He simply just needed to care.
His arms were like a blanket,
A cushion to lay my heavy heart.
He made up every little puzzle piece.
He completed me, from the very start.
Our cloud continued floating,
Ascending in a windward way.
Our love had grown much stronger,
Growing a little more with every day.
I could find no other like him.
I wished to live forever at his side.
I'd never thought about the future,
Or ever wished to be someone's bride.
With him it was so much different;
I became oblivious to his petty lies.
But after I covered all his fake smiles,
I began to see his evil eyes.
Our cloud had gained pollution,
With contaminants that could have caused a storm.
And once we drifted too far to return,
Our cloud had taken a different form.
The pain came down in droplets.
Not a single thought was even spared.
Our love had bursted to pieces,
Scattering all that we once shared.
Now I'm looking from this angle.
With the clouds gone, the stars can now shine.
And, despite how much I loved him,
I realise.. he was never mine.
31st December 2014
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