This next poem was written after a series of events... Ones of which I can't find the words to address, aloud anyway. Basically, you go through your whole life feeling hopeless, defenseless, weak.. and then someone comes in and shows you the beautiful side to it, the side you've always been missing... And then, they decide to go again, just as quickly as they arrived..
It's not fair, it's just not fair.
That's what the poem is about. How you can get so close to finally achieving what you've set your mind on, and then it can just slip away, right through your fingers.
I have dedicated this one to Sean Golden.. Whether he understands why or not.. But, behind my personal reasons, the poem is based upon that hopelessness. That one specific feeling .. the one that breaks hearts and causes tears.
I hope you like it.. I really do..
Vanishing Point
I think it's about time I told you this,
It's the same almost every night.
Even in my dreams, I know the feeling I get
When I see your face in sight.
The blueness of the oceans,
And even of the skies,
Could never compare to the beauty
Of that within your eyes.
Each time I find myself running.
But I'm never running toward.
This time, I've found, is different,
With you, I'm running forward.
There is never a destination,
I just seem to run the same mile,
Until I catch your eyes within the crowd
And I suddenly feel myself smile.
I concentrate on it's appearance.
I want to make it look real.
But the truth is that, inside of me,
Fear is all I feel.
Fear that I've been fooled again.
That you're just a mirage I can see.
That you're a home I've built up to keep me safe,
And you'll just crumble down softly.
I'm telling you this because I want you to know,
The feelings inside me are strong.
But despite my desire to be by your side,
I really feel like I don't belong.
It's like I've slipped off of a mountain top,
And my rope's scraping off the edge.
It's risky to pull myself back up,
As I'm held on by only a single thread.
I continue to run, but my mile's cut short,
As I awaken out of my dreams.
Somewhere inside I don't want to know,
What happens when I reach you, it seems.
I imagine I keep running toward you,
Until the moment I finally get near.
And I find that I was right all along,
As you just vanish into the thin air..
17 - January - 2015
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