Community of Hearts

Good May to you all!

Now, I won't get into all the various reasons why May is my least favourite month of the year... But, at some point, I promise, I'll explain the lot.

For now though, I want to just concentrate on an ancient matter.

Friends play a massive role in my life. To some, friends are deemed to have little importance.. Which actually reminds me of the time Trevor told me he considered the term "friends" to be a 'loose term.' I want you all to know that Trevor came to realise he was very, very wrong.

To me, friends make my life. I love my family and I know their values, but what I've learned is that friends show you a part of you you may have never even knew existed.

I had many different friends through my years in Primary School, some who showed me that your outside family life can have a real impact on the kind of person you are.. Others showed me that trust needs to be earned.. Others even showed me that you don't truly know, respect or understand what you have until it's gone.

In Secondary School, I also had many friends.. Ones who showed me what it's like to be someone's number one.. Others showed me the true beauty of having friends.. Others taught me that it takes a lot to be a friend .. it's not a loose term.. it takes work.. it takes body, heart and soul. It takes all of you to be a friend, it's not a part time thing. ... And finally, the ones who showed me that your ability to love and hate are stored in the same place of your brain..

This poem is about a particular old friend. Her name, I won't make public. But to those who joined her and her "superior empire," it could be easily guessed.

If you figure it out, I want you to know I'm sorry. I needed to find the words, I can't hold on to a shadow anymore. Yes, I've moved on.. But I keep finding myself back there. There's a space inside my heart that is so damn cracked and ugly that new home-seekers don't fancy the idea of taking residence.

With a little refurbishing though.. You're the only one who ever knew how good a home it was in there. I just want you to know that personally.

Community of Hearts

Today my thoughts were yours.
Nostalgia hit me hard.
From every photograph to letter,
To every gift you gave, or card.
I know what was is gone now,
And we've went our separate ways.
But somehow I find myself thinking of you,
And all of our past days.
You think you have it all now.
Oh, and perhaps that is true,
But somewhere inside I long to know,
If you remember me and you?
Not of the finale of us,
The supposed taking of my thrown,
I honestly don't know why you thought badly of me,
When I only ever viewed you as home.
You were part of my community,
You had a VIP seat in my heart.
But that could never be enough for someone like you,
And that's why we belong apart.
You're a constant positive in my mind, though,
Despite what has gone before,
I just concluded it was best to just move on,
As it was obvious we were simply no more.
I surprise myself on days like this,
When I realise exactly what I would like to say.
I would never expect your forgiveness or such,
I wouldn't even expect you to let me stay.
Evicted as I was from that community of yours,
I fixed up the cracks that formed inside.
And now I'm confident that if I met you tomorrow,
I wouldn't surrender or hide,
Instead I'd inform you that I remember you and me,
(As my nerves rattle me to the bone.)
And that, although I do have days like these,
My thoughts are only yours on loan.

14 April 2015