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The Owner of Your Boots

Hey guys.. Happy June!

I told my sister, Caroline, I would post my June poem sooner than I have, but no poem in my collection suited the humour that has prevailed over me since the finale of my first year of college.. So, I wrote this one today.

This next poem is the closest I can get to express one constant in my life. I have no explanation for the ways I'm feeling recently, so instead I'm redirecting my concentration toward the core of me.

The Owner of Your Boots is about my brother, Michael Jnr., and how, all my life, I grew up looking for a protective figure to support me.. And, I've only ever felt it was there spiritually.

This is a kind of poem I love to write.. But it's fairly difficult to allow myself to tap into these sort of feelings, so these poems come rarely.

I have found a protective figure, that is my boyfriend Sean Golden, who I have previously mentioned a few times.. It's not entirely possible for someone else to fill my brother's shoes.. But he provides the physical support that I've wanted all my life, and that's what the poem is based upon.

This is dedicated to both Michael Jnr. and Sean... Thank you for everything x

The Owner of Your Boots

I'm almost fully conscious,
when I realise who you are.
No longer some dazzling angel,
or a distant, shiny star.
You're a man with a startling beauty,
and charms that win my heart.
You're exactly how I imagined you would be,
even from the very start.

We're sitting at a table.
It's not one I've previously known.
But, by the way you perch your boots upon it,
suggests it is your own.
I've come to confess some thoughts I've had,
And some things I wish to share.
To a person I not only know will sit and listen,
But I can guarantee will care.
He glares into my dark blue eyes,
that reflect the blue of his.
And while my words slip right into his ears,
he unjumbles them like a quiz.
I never hear of his opinion,
It's just my voice that fills the air.
But it's enough for me, just to know,
that he's even there.

Next thing I know, we're in a field,
with flowers all around.
We're all dressed up, in our best,
sitting on the ground.
I've come to you with some stories,
I can't share with another soul.
I've come to tell you that my life is good,
now that I've taken control.
I found the person you used to know,
And realised what I am worth.
I left behind those who brought me down,
by treating me like dirt.
I realised it doesn't matter what others think.
And only you can bring your joy.
I banished my selfless thoughts I had
And even found a boy.
One who tells me I am beautiful,
and shows me to the world.
One who holds me in his arms,
and is proud that I'm his girl.
I don't know what you'd think of him,
if he ever got the pleasure to meet you.
But I want you to know, above all others,
that what I feel is true.
It's not my intention to replace you darling,
for you are like no other.
There is no man on this planet,
who could love me like my big brother.

You undo your laces, remove your boots,
and give them to me with a kiss.
I sit them on the grass, ensure he'll keep them safe,
and that, I tell you, is my promise.

Before my eyes flicker back to Earth,
I reach out for your hand.
I thank you and tell you I love you so much,
and I'm happy you understand.

9 June 2015

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