I've been anxious about my May upload.. and mainly because of the occasion that's in it.
Today marks the anniversary of my big brother, Michael Jnr, who I've written many poems about. Those many poems began with this first one, 'A Sense of Place'.
I won a competition with this poem in 2013, which was held for the Gathering Festival. Before entering the competition, I remember reading the requirements of the brief, the whole idea of a sense of place .. And I had to really think about it.
All my life I've felt a little lost, I'm not going to lie. I never fully feel a comfortable sense of belonging in anywhere I am, or with anyone I'm with.
I've always hoped Michael was in a better place. Life is really tough, filled with challenging scenarios and pain.. Rarely do we find reasons to be happy.. And I say that with a heavy heart.
I guess all we can do is hope.. Hope that there is a God, or some Heavenly King who is collecting up all the beautiful souls and keeping them all for himself, safe from everyone and everything.. Allowing them to live in a wonderful utopia, a safe haven.. Maybe not filled with golden gates, angels and fluffy clouds.. but somewhere better.. Somewhere where they can all be happy forever more..
Rest in Peace, Michael Jnr.. We miss you every day.. x
A Sense of Place
The one I know, but never knew, that went away all too soon.
Up to join old Orion, and to sit alongside the moon.
The five days they got with you, so many things unsaid.
Time I got not to spend with you, though footsteps that you led.
The one week, your two eyes, the three days and four,
The fives days, your whole life. The breath in you, 'till it was no more.
One; like the date of the day that you were born.
One; like the week they received before they had to mourn.
One, the first of summer, the sun that shone so dark.
One, like the sound of nature all around. Trees with the early bark.
One hundred and fifty five minutes distance from here to there.
One, like the feeling so deep, the one I live to bare.
One; the smile, I'll never quite get to see.
One; the person, you'll never really be.
One single hug that I'll never get to feel.
This little talk that I share with you whilst I kneel.
One simple blink before you were to leave me be.
But every single day since, from Heaven you were to guide me.
Two were the little shoes, you never got to wear.
Two perfect angel eyes they were lucky to get to share.
Two tiny hands you had, that they never got to hold.
Two, like the normal second day, within the story that's told.
Two tiny heart beats before you were to leave me be.
But every single day since, from Heaven you were to guide me.
Three were your names, never added to.
Three, like my position, next child down from you.
Three like the third day you joined the Christian church.
Three days that came, to leave their lives besmirched.
Four, the next to follow, awaiting the final day.
Four fifths of your life, near to the whole way.
The third or fourth thought upon you, before you were to leave me be.
But every single day since, from Heaven you were to guide me.
Five days seems small to be a whole life time.
But the days after yours were ones only left to mime.
Five days to teach a shadow not yet born to take the trail.
The disrupted peace of Cliffoney, on this road I stride alone to wail.
I try to reach you, but you're too far above.
No way to let you feel my deeper, inner love.
For Ben Bulben is the highest I have ever really got.
My tears the Trawalua waves had reached out and caught.
A rhythm of words, too short to tell it all.
This holy gesture, act of God that took you there, leaves only my childlike call.
A call that seizes every heart rendering beat,
And helps me to feel your presence above from beneath.
No matter where I go in life, any place I will be,
I know you'll give me directions, hope and always make me happy.
You're my home I know so well. A sense of place so sure.
I know I only have to look up, when I feel you're here no more.
For you give me position, in a place I don't know, or perhaps do.
Lost is something, I found myself, when I found, I had lost you.
The one week, your two eyes, the three days and four,
The fives days, your whole life, the breath in you, 'till it was no more.
Dedicated to Michael Jnr.. x
Copyright (C) - Joanne Heraghty 2016
Comments
Post a Comment