I'm going to start on a bright note.. I just want to congratulate my big sister, Caroline and her family, on the arrival of their new babóg, Cara-Lily.. I hope the very best to all of ye.. Many many happy days x♡
So this month, I've written something kind of different, and I understand why many people have questioned it. I've had people questioning who it's based on, and why my opinion on the matter is so strong.. It's very simple as far as I'm concerned.
Today is Day #109, yes I reached 100 days last month! Which is fantastic, but it wasn't the end of the road for my happy days challenge.. I've decided to continue to as long as it takes to be happy.. Truly happy. I may be counting my days for the rest of my life! And I will, if that's what it takes :)
The Cracks in your Iron Suit is about a person who genuinely is in a dark place and life is just slipping away around them. I actually do have a person in my life like the character from the poem, and it's horrible. To have someone you care about so much feel so little in return, it hurts. The detachment, lack of emotion.. Destructiveness.. It all hurts so much.
People say that in order to be happy, you must avoid negative sources, places, things and people.. But I disagree, I don't believe that will make you happy. That's not a true reflection of life in general. My friend's influence in my life, at this time specifically, is actually playing a major role in motivating me to resume my challenge.. I want to reach my goal, and it would be an added bonus if I impacted someone else's life in a positive way while I was at it.
I've recently found myself heading back in the "just let go" direction again, and I'm not sure why. Back during that time when it was pervasively occurring in my poems, I felt a little relieved of whatever I was holding onto once I wrote about it. I guess it was a kind of therapy.. Which may just be what I need right now, since I feel the world sitting on my shoulders.
Written on Day #93, The Cracks in your Iron Suit is the perfect representation of the kind of angles I want to focus on in my challenge. It helped that I found answers to my questions and outletted my thoughts to the public. This is a real life scenario, maybe not mine, but real all-the-same. People do find themselves in dark places, and they will block all good out of their lives unintentionally, oblivious to the light others wish to lend. I'm not willing to back down and let the light go out - for any of us. I just want to let the world know that.
♡
The Cracks in your Iron Suit
You may want to ease up on the sugar there,
You know it's the reason you gained weight.
And look aside from the darkness, would you?
I think it has discouraged your faith.
Why do you wake up each morning,
And allow your mood to create your day?
You know if you truly wanted to be happy,
Your bad mood would stay away.
Why don't you change the way you dress,
It may raise your self-esteem.
Move your bed out of that dark corner of your room,
And then, I think, tonight you may actually dream.
Ditch the people who bring you down,
You know exactly who they are.
And while you're at it, it may just help,
If you also let go of her.
Was there a time when you believed in her,
And thought she was the one?
Because I can't seem to understand the fact
That, now, you are alone.
You both still laugh at each other's jokes,
And live your lives side by side.
But she has a new life, away from yours now,
She has left your relationship behind.
Did the things she did cause you to build up a wall,
That you intended to hold up against the world?
Or is that iron suit of yours
Protection against one single girl?
I thought I broke down that wall of yours,
To get a good glimpse inside.
But instead you just showed me where the cracks were forming,
And hid yourself away again after a while.
I can't help but wonder what it is that scares you
Away from the intentions of my pursuit?
But more importantly, I'm curious to know,
What caused those cracks in your iron suit?
One morning you awoke and your heart just changed.
You no longer felt the same.
You wanted to tell her the truth of the matter,
But it was years before those words finally came.
A pessimistic cloud formed itself above you,
And since it has followed you around.
How could it be that you feel nothing at all,
While inside I can feel my stony heart pound?
She should have held on tighter, and fought for you harder,
No matter how much you believed it was the end.
Because something inside me is convinced you are hurting
From all the things you thought you could not mend.
Surely there must have been something left,
If you held on for so long.
Comparing you now to who you were then,
I'm curious to know what went wrong.
Did she tell you too many lies?
Or could you just not handle the truth?
Was it anything to do with her at all?
Or was it simply all just about you?
It kills me to know that she got behind that wall,
She seen more than just the flesh beneath the cracks.
And still she let go and moved on with her life,
With no intentions to ever look back.
And with that thought I think I found the answer.
I finally understand the truth.
She is the reason you let the world slip away.
She caused the cracks in your iron suit.
23 October 2016 // #Day93
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