I missed June. I'm not happy about it at all. I had a tiny hint of writer's block and it effected a great deal of things for me throughout the month. On the plus side, I did eventually get something written for June so it could be worse!
So, this one has caused a little bit of a stir up. I've been asked a number of questions from a few people regarding the meaning of the poem. One person asked me why I would write a poem about racism. They've questioned my mental health. I've even had someone comment on my constant use of darkness and light when comparing. The different opinions I was receiving about the poem really put things into perspective for me.. I mean I coined the poems title a couple of years ago and attempted so many times to pull something suitable together for it. And I struggled greatly throughout June, I had friends, and especially Caroline, wondering where my monthly update was.
Turquoise Moon wasn't intentionally supposed to describe any form of discrimination. Instead, I intended to address the dividers we place up between ourselves and others. Sometimes I feel like we would be better off discussing these things as, more often than not, we only create the boundaries of society within our heads.
My point to the poem is actually based loosely on a lesson I learned when I first moved to Dublin. I found it was very different from home. And not in the utopic way people at home believed it to be. At home, we believed the East had left us behind, and it's undeniable that that's true, but in Dublin, people all around me talk highly of Sligo. They dream of holidays along the coast, and the slow paced nature of the countryside. They're the people in the light.
The first person in the poem is an expression of my own thoughts. And in my mind, I see only the story I based the poem on initially. However, I think it's really interesting that my readers have pulled other meanings from the poem, relatable and controversial.
If we were better people, to allow ourselves to look past the imaginary boundaries we put between ourselves, we would live in a balanced world. And that's not a matter of opinion -
Eventually, when it all comes down to it, we harm ourselves by holding onto anger, heartache, and all else, caused by others. We are blind in the darkness we've walked ourselves into.
Turquoise Moon
They told me: “bring the sky along with you,
When you decide to go out alone.
Let the stars fall, like a blanket, upon you,
And prevent your heart from becoming stone.”
We sheltered in the back-lands.
We hid away from the light of the world.
And now I’m ready to step out in there,
To explore the places we’ve only ever heard.
They said: “there’s a glint in the blue eyes God gave you,
There’s a beauty that blossomed inside,
And the flower you’ve grown to be, our darling,
Is a flower we would much prefer to hide.”
I took a glimpse between the tree trunks,
And then up toward the skies, all dark.
They said “there are monsters beyond our boundaries;
Crawling in the shadows where they lurk.”
For years now, my people have told me,
How the outside world has left us behind;
“They do not care that we are starving in the wilderness.
Our division has been clearly defined.”
My heart did not wish to believe this,
But it’s a difficult thing to deny.
When you’re freezing beneath the moonlight,
And the world is passing you by.
They told me “we have nothing, beneath the exposed stars,
Unlike them, basking in the heat of the sun.”
And while my heart sinks, I still try to imagine,
Our worlds, one day, becoming one.
I set off, to venture out of the dark world,
They said goodbye, as if we would never again meet eyes.
Curious, I was to step into the light,
To a place, that could lead to my demise.
And out in the world, away from our darkness,
I found the sun does not stir up a warmth within.
The people, are not monsters, they’re just like me -
There is nothing inconcinne.
And those who see me, fall weak at their knees.
Their faces change, instantly taken aback.
Questioning glances, they look around them,
Searching for reasons my skin has stained black.
My people said “the monsters are callous,
They do not have hearts, unlike us.
They can not love us, they do not feel.
They will never reason, there is no trust.”
And they rushed to meet me, as the air wore thin,
Wrapping blankets around my soul.
The stars did not cover me, out beyond our dark world.
A strange feeling casts over me: I’ve never felt so whole.
Figures swarmed in, arms were reaching,
And then I suddenly noticed some tears stream
From eyes with beauty, I’d never before witnessed,
Even within my most vivid dream.
The figures held me, and whispered support.
They patiently listen to learn my name.
And amongst the chaos, a lump had formed;
I tried to answer, but nothing came.
My people said we were abandoned,
The so-called monsters never spared us a thought.
“They move on lightly in their opposite world.”
They said “we live on the outskirts, in a place they forgot.”
But while their warm hands held me,
And their soft tears fell in floods.
I tried to focus, but I thought only of my people,
Alone, and abandoned, out there in the woods.
The stars blanketing over them, as they fight to grow warm.
I imagine the pain they can feel deep inside.
The loneliness they have caused by their own isolation,
In a world they forced themselves to abide.
They offer me food, and offer me shelter.
They welcome me into the comfort of their home.
They share stories of their lives and their happiness.
They never asked where I came from.
And then they spoke of their utopia,
The world beneath the turquoise moon.
Where the stars are blanketed above them.
They dream of it often beneath the hot sun of noon.
They’re all whisked away, back off to dreamland,
Imagining the moonlight hitting their face.
Surrounded by a world of sure harmony,
Finally escaping from this place.
Once again, I think of my people,
Out there, believing the outside world had forgot.
I think of the joy, spreading widely across their faces,
When I go back and prove to them that they did not.
My heart is lifted in that moment,
And I find myself swiftly taking to my feet,
I start running, rushing, headed back to the dark world,
Dancing upon flowers that have sprung up underneath.
My people once told me “nothing can grow in the darkness.”
But inside me, is a flower, and it has adapted to grow.
There is beauty in the darkness,
The outsiders dream of it, the outsiders know.
When I look back, I’ve been followed,
I’ve enticed the outsiders to come along.
An eerie sensation flushes over me when I step into the darkness,
I no longer feel this is the place I belong.
But the sun from the bright world did not fill me with heat,
Unlike the warmth I feel now, meeting familiar eyes.
They’re clutching cups in their shaky, stained hands,
They’ve grown oblivious to the beauty of the skies.
The outsiders are dazzled, staring up at the stars.
There’s no light in his eyes, my leader stands vacant.
He says “my darling, you are a beautiful flower,
I have much I want to tell you, but I simply just can’t..”
The outsiders are silent, as they gather around us,
They carefully listen to absorb every word.
He looks up to the stars, and his face is distraught,
Then he looks back to the cup, around which his fingers are curled.
A whimper escapes as he lifts the cup to his mouth,
He gulps down the poison before releasing one final sigh.
His dull eyes avoid me, as he lays down with the others,
To wait for the day the monsters will die.
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